One of the biggest expenses for me each weekend is feeding the hungry little blighters.
Maybe if I'd had four girls it would be simpler because they'd all be worried about stuffing their faces (not something I would have encouraged, just tapping into a sterotype!), instead I have four growing boys with the appetites of a Snorlax. Each.
A couple of weekends ago I found out I was divorced.
I'm still not sure whether to believe it as I've still to get any official notification.
Whilst handing over then boys at the end of a visit my ex told me that she'd been told by her solicitor that it was all done and dusted.
'Congratulations!' was her word.
Not sure it would be mine.
Time for a catch up methinks!
Well, i'd like to say things have changed a lot since the last post but not as much as I'd hoped.
Actually I could be on the verge but more about that later.
So, the kids are growing up, as they do. The oldest still likes to be with his friends but he's still happy to come down on movie days which is cool. Amazingly, he still has the same girlfriend since I first mentioned it, is that a record for a pre- teen? Apparently, they are considered the cute couple of their year (information courtesy of Facebook).
There was a bit of drama in the summer as he had an accident on his bike whilst showing off to her and her friends on his bike. He flipped it over and somehow lost part of one of his fingers as he landed! That was a scary day.
In fact, it highlighted one of the horrible things about being apart from them. Actually it probably wouldn't have been much different as I was in work anyway but it made me think about the whole 'what if they were in a terrible accident and they all died' type of situation.
I hate the thought that something like that would happen and I'd be left without them. Is that selfish? I just don't know how I could carry on with that much loss.
Changing subject...
My second oldest is the one that seems to miss me the most but we've had a number of opportunities where he's been able to stay for the weekend in the last few months so that's made it better.
It's great spending evenings with him catching up on comedies. He's got a really great sense of humour (he was voted funniest in his class recently too) and I've found he really enjoys Red Dwarf The IT Crowd and Outnumbered especially.
We've spent some time working on a website where he's learning to build his own. He's really enthusiastic about it and its wierd thinking he's 11 and learning HTML!
Keeping the younger two occupied is still the biggest challenge as they all have their different interests and whilst the older two can be convinced to do something else the youngest really do not like the thought of doing anything other than what they want to!
It hasn't been made any easier by the fact that my PS3 has gone kaput so there's even less for them to do when they come to the flat.
Of course that segue's nicely into the job front. Money's as tight as it has been for most of the year but one way or another that's about to change. I like where I work and it has plenty to keep me occupied, motivated and content but there's no way I continue part time. I brought this up with them and they seemed eager to assure me that if I want to work full-time then they would be keen to keep me.
However, a couple of months passed with no firm offer and so I'm having to apply for others. Fortunately, despite only having applied for around three I got a call for an interview which I attended yesterday. The only thing is that its in London so would require moving if I got it.
Ideally, I'll get an offer from my current workplace before I find out whether I get this one but at the end of the day this is one situation where money has to come first before I sink!
Also, I've finally got the freedom to date again!
After previous separations ended with me and my ex getting back together after she changed her mind I decided to wait until I could be sure she'd moved on. She's now been seeing someone for a couple of months and even went on holiday with him a couple of weeks back so I can finally feel like there's no chance of her disrupting any new relationship I find out of jealousy. I hope!
Anyway that's enough for now. I'll try and post more regularly to avoid these condensed scattershot ramblings in future!
Wow! Has it really been nearly a year since I was last here?
To state the obvious, things didn't turn out exactly how I'd hoped and now I'm back to being a single guy and seeing my kids at the weekend.
It's slightly different this time as I was finally able to get off my brothers armchair and find a place of my own. The balance between being able to afford to do things with my boys and paying bills is on a knife edge, but I'll always put being with them first.
New developments include the oldest coming to the end of his first year at high school and getting himself a girlfriend, whilst deciding that he'd rather spend his saturdays with his friends than visiting me! Not surprising but I miss him!
In fact, it has meant that I have to re-evaluate where my career is going as I've been happy to toddle along working part-time but it my finances are way overstretched. I guess I'll be looking at my options soon. If I can get a job at my previous level then I'll be able to see them more ofter and my oldest can stay over during the week!
It's still great to see my other three wonderful boys. In fact without my oldest there on the saturday its a different dynamic now as he very much influenced what the others did but I also feel less spread out between them so I can give each more time.
It's a pretty new development so we'll see how it plays out.
The rest of the week feels like I'm fasting and then I splurge on the Saturday and as much as I enjoy spending my meagre wages on the kids, I would like to have the breathing space to maybe start having a life of my own!
It's all been on pause since I got the new flat and I do miss having someone special in my life to share myself with. I can't complain though. If life has taught me anything its that you should always be prepared for change and each day brings new opportunities so it won't always be like this
It's been a long time since my last post. Mainly because I've had nothing really to say as a single dad.
Thankfully this is due more to the fact things have been progressing in a positive direction with my wife not that I've quit with the self analysis.
I guess this means that I won't really be updating this blog much any more (you may have already realised this from the date of the last post). However, I will be continuing with other writing efforts as time allows.
One of the things I've found since becoming a more full-time dad again is how little time I have left for the things I'd filled my life with before.
Anyway, I may restart this blog as something else in the near future, unless my plan to consolidate all my blogs and writing into one site finally come off!
All the best to those who have found their way here and I hope you at least found something here to interest you.
This Saturday was going to be a tricky one. How was I supposed to keep the kids happy for the best part of a day on just over 20 quid?
If I'm honest, I wasn't sure I could. I was prepared for a very short visit. The weather was too cold to just hang out.
I received the kids at Cardiff Bay because at least that gave me options. I hoped to maybe take them to a movie and cross my fingers that the weather would improve and we'd go to a park somewhere afterwards.
The kids had other ideas. They were determined to watch a movie and we did. Planet 51.
I thought that would be it for the day but thankfully, by some stroke of luck or divine intervention, the movie was on at a special matinee price so it cost a pittance to get us in.
I didn't expect that. It was a brilliant surprise. Afterwards we were able to go off to Subway's and grab something to eat (Good tip: at the moment they're giving away a load of vouchers for various meal deals which will definitely get used on other weekends) and then off to a park or two around the bay (there's a couple of hidden gems where you might not expect to find them).
Maybe someone was smiling on me because rather than putting my need to spend more time with them first I let them choose how to spend the time and things fell into place for a great day. I remember nothing worse than being dragged along to places by my Mum who had to be somewhere and we were expected to tag along. I don't want my boys to feel that way when they spend time with me.
For me nothing touches a Saturday if I can help it. That day is theirs and they come first. I am there for them and no-one else.
Days like last weekend are just the kind of break I need, that show maybe the world isn't all bad and good things can happen!
My ultimate aim is that hopefully when they are older my kids will want to choose to spend time with me when they could be doing something else. Obviously, I don't mean that in a clingy way. Hopefully, they will have a life and go off to university, hang out with their friends, settled down and have kids etc. Maybe, though, amongst that they will think, 'hey! I haven't seen/spoken to Dad for a while. Maybe we could do something/catch up?'.
If that happens and they feel that I'm still a valid part of their life despite not having lived with them for so long then my time now and the sacrifices I've made now will be worth it. That's all I can ask for.
This film had been on my radar for a while as I'd seen the trailer for it months ago.
My only concern coming into it was from who's perspective would the film be from, the astronaut or the 'native' people. Do you see how I struggled to put the word 'Alien' in that last sentence? That's because the film is all about who exactly IS the alien.
I'm not saying it's a terribly deep film, in fact it's pretty straightforward once that initial question is answered and you realise the film is all about fitting in and conformity, with a little bit of ignorance and xenophobia thrown in too.
It tried a little too hard in catering to both kids and an older audience with its humour ('That's a funny place for your antennae'), subtlety wasn't a concern.
Even so, the film moved along quite well with the usual 'hide the alien' scenarios. The E.T. references were most prevalent and ranged from well executed (the discovery of the astronaut in the bedroom) to blindingly obvious (hoverbike silhouetted against the moon).
My 6 and 9 year old's laughed the most so I would guess its more at their level. It was a good romp though and, as ever, if the kids loved it I count it a success!
Following my previous post, last weekend was a perfect example of enjoying time with my kids without spending too much money.
As they live in another town it cost money just to visit them so I saved by walking and was fortunate enough that on the train back there wasn't a guard taking fares.
I planned on this day being a coffee and chat day, Unfortunately, it went a bit pear-shaped as the only coffee shop around was full and their was nowhere to sit. Well, I say full, there was a table that would have fitted us all around it, but there was just one person sat there! Not quite annoying but fairly frustrating!
That left us with nowhere to go for a moment. The weather wasn't too great at that point either so we ended up in a Morrison's cafe. Not ideal, but affordable and the kids were happy as they were treated to a grab bag of sweets each and a soft drink. My 11-year-old turned his nose up at the idea at first until sweets were mentioned. Gets 'em every time!!
It was a nice time though, catching up with stuff they were doing, as well as silly talk. Occasionally I could just sit back and just listen to them chat amongst themselves for a few minutes, which I miss. The constant chatter and noise.
After a while the weather improved and we headed off to the park before being stuck in a supermarket became too boring.
This is the bread and butter type of visit. Not fancy, but it keeps you going.
Trying to be a hands-on dad, with both hands tied behind my back
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